What's next?

I think of my sister, who had earned her first money and wanted to by me a present; i think of my best friend who asked me if we could hang out again after my leaving; i think of my roommates who needed my support to keep moving forward; i think of my mother who missed me every minute but always tell me she likes being alone. i think about death, which i had thought thousands of times, and i think about my strong father who got the disease my grandpa had caught. i am scared, i saw my father had the same symptoms like my dead grandpa, and i saw he did the same thing his father did before. i remember my sadness; i remember my grandpa's pain; i remember an old person had prayed to die in order to get the relief. but, my father, he is only 47... i can't imagine! it's just the same prelude that performed as my grandpa did a dozen years ago. just like to see a tragedy, you know the bad ending and it had happened on one of your family. when it's over, it happened again. i don't know, if it will happen on me some day, if i can face the reality? how can i save my family? how can i hold a friend? if everything had to leave, what can i keep? and who wants to stay?

One Day I Thought...

One of my best friends said that if I felt unhappy, just added heavy things in the key’s ring, then threw them down…on the ground, after that, everything would go back its way…but, I am awful, I had tried times and times, but I still can’t make it…

While old friends leave off one by one, new friends will come forth immediately…I believe that. It could be true. … I’ve almost forgot what I said before: “friendship is not a puff of smoke, disappears as it spirals up to the wind; friendship is not the image in a mirror, breaks up as it falls down on the ground. It’s steady and eternal. A friend will stand by you whatever happens.” … Sometimes, I feel tired, then I run around my block, loops by loops…just wait, waiting for the time to deprive my life, also take away my memories…

In the real world, it’s always that lonely, no one can be the sustentation of another. I have owed much…from my birth—we always possess great things without consciousness, even sometimes it could be against our wills… so we repay them in our rest life…when, sometime, we have totally paid off, we could release, and die with a smile…

Sports or Not?

Nowadays, more and more people are joining in the group which plays dangerous sports and doing dangerous activities. These kinds of games or activities have been popularized among the mass, especially among the teenagers. Many people consider those people crazy and insane, while some others think that those players show people the human courage. The debate has never been stopped and is still going on today. I think there is no right or wrong between the people who hold different opinions. Knowing the deep spirit hidden behind those behaviors is more practical for us.

The reason why people are attracted to those dangerous sports is that by playing dangerous sports, people get a kind of sense of achievement. As we all know, people need the sense of achievements. Some get them from the success of academic discoveries, while some seek them from the sports and games. As the kinds of sports vary widely, there are some groups of people with strong desire who chose to devote their energy and spare the efforts in those sports considered dangerous by the public. Those sports seem dangerous for us, but for them, they are of no difference to the common sports we know. By playing dangerous games, the players receive the same respects which come to the players playing normal sports.

Would you like to study history ?

As the demand of knowledge increases quickly all over the world, many students in universities are required wider range of knowledge. History, as a very important subject which interprets the human knowledge in a chronological method, is more and more demanded by the university students. There comes a debate that whether history should be added to the compulsory course list or not. When I was asked I felt that forcing students of every major to study history is a very bad idea.

First and foremost, to let the non-history major students study history is actually a waste of time and energy. The time and energy of a single college student is quite limited. Another important reason is that for most of the students who do not major in history, especially those who major in science, history is actually of no use for them. Though the demand of variety of knowledge of an individual is increasing, to do well in one’s major is the most important.The last reason why history should not be studied by all students is that for those students who do not major in history, taking history course may decrease their GPA and may lead to a lack of confidence or other psychological problems.

In brief, though history is very important, it should not be demand on all the students of different majors. We can study it according to our interests upon it when we are free. But it should not be a compulsory course in college.

Just a dream~

One mid-night when I woke up, I suddenly felt that I hated I was awake. You know what, I got a simple dream, and I really felt good because of it. That could be the best feeling I've got so far. I walked with a little girl and I didn't know who she was. I asked her if she felt tired, she said no, but I knew she was. I didn't think she's beautiful but I felt comfortable while looking at her--kind and pure, innocent and sensible. I carried her on my back, and then I kept walking. Later, she's gone, I walked with another person, I still didn't know who he was, and maybe it was SHE. We walked for a long time, and I knew we would go to different directions soon, but I didn't feel sad. I liked to walk with him/her, but I was not afraid of losing him/her. When we went apart, he/she said:" we have been walking so long together, would you simply go away? ” I stand there, tears suddenly out, sadness full of my heart. No, I thought there's something more than sorrow. Then, I woke up.

Hope it will just be a dream......

What I wish is...

Sometimes I wish I could talk with God, and I hope him can make my life wonderful. I would like to pay for it by my own lifetime ---- take away several years of my life and make the rest of it be amazing...... I don't care if I will die early, but I can't stand if I live with sadness and misfortune. You may think I am nuts, but it's a great bargain, I feel. If God really exists, I can not only go to the heaven early, but also get a happy life right away.

Have you had the same experience before?

Sometimes I just realize most of my friends treat me well, and I can't help sobbing...... Maybe I am a little girl with a big will. I firmly believe the beauty of the world where I can find my happy life eventually. However, happiness seldom come over, and when it comes, I will too happy to accept. What a wonderful life! Do you believe it can be too wonderful to make me die?

My dreams, my future #3

Continuing...

Sometimes, I asked myself what kind of person I wanted to be. Famous? No! I liked to live my own life as everyone else. Useful? Yes! But useful for what? That’s the point. Then I get an idea of helping others. So how can I help them? Meanwhile I began to interest in food. So why not learn nutrition or dietetics which is related to people’s health and daily life? Why not study abroad and get something new? My future is getting clearer and clearer.

In the other hand, the way we eat is the way we live. Diet seems as an attitude of life, and nothing can be compared with a healthy life, yet modern people pay little attention on it. Some serious diseases appear when people are getting older. In fact, most of them can be avoided only if we have good diets in daily life. The problem is people don’t know how to eat healthily. So what I want to do is trying to improve their diets before they get diseases. It’s a good way to help others. Then I found my future plan finally, which is studying in nutrition or dietetics and trying to help people live in a healthy way.

I won’t have farther plans for the future, because world is changing; life is changing; people are changing; I am changing as well. Farther plans seem meaningless, yet small plans make more sense. No matter how far you want to go, start from the first step. To be closer to my future, now I plan to get ready to face the changes and the challenges in my future life whenever it comes.

My dreams, my future #2

Contiue with my dream, my future^_^~~

Later when I was 13 or 14, my painter dream changed into animator, for I loved cartoon movies. I planed to make the best ones, better than Disney's and Japanese. Unfortunately, now I have no chance to be an animator in that I’m not good at Java, not good at computer. Instead, I was successful in the plan of making some good friends, planting some trees, and keeping learning.

Life is full of changes. At first, I went to a university in Wuhan. But my scores were not high enough, as a result that my major was decided by the university. After all it was not what I want to learn. Then I decided to give it up and tried to get closer to my own future. But what is my future? And where is it? I realized that my future was nearer. My future plans will not be great, will not be impossible, and will not be far away. They should be reachable and realizable.

My dreams, my future #1

I spent three weeks to write something about my dreams and my future, and now I'd like to share it with all my frends.

The moment when others suddenly asked me about my future was the moment I realized that I should begin to think about it carefully. I tried to write down all the future plans that I have had before in order to find something worth. Looking at my list, I suddenly noticed that as the time went by, all my great future plans became dreams, but the small ones became true.

At the age of 4, I had my first great future plan——being a painter. The first time when I drew a pear I drew some dots on it as well whereas other children only drew the shape. It made my parents believe I may be good at drawing. Although they let me want to be a painter, I have noting to do with a painter right now. The plan was so far away from a 4-year-old girl that I hardly reached. However, at the same time my other small plans were realized. I planed to draw a picture and receive praise. I planed to do homework as fast as possible so that parents allowed me to play with my friends.

I Hate Onion~~~!!!

Onion! Onion! Onion!......

I have a part-time job in Den. I love my job because I can learn a lot from it. Besides, I love cooking, but, but, but.... I HATE ONION!!!!! I work as a pre-cook, which means I do the preparation for the food we service. Sometime I have to cut onion. All kinds of onion have to be cut into different shapes, different sizes. The most terrible thing is slicing onion. In fact, there is a slicing machine. What I have to do is putting the onion into the machine, and then, pushing and pulling the handle. Last time I used this machine slice 12L onion. My tears couldn't stop rolling down my cheek, and others all standed away from me, because they didn't want to cry like me. Some one said that you'd better put the onions into the water. However, it didn't work. I was thinking about why people like to eat onion, while my tears were still rolling, if nobody ate it I wouldn't cry~! It's really a terrible experience which made me started to hate onion~!

Terrible Onion! Terrible work! Never touch onion I wish......

Is there a God?!

Yesterday, my neighbor asked me whether I'd like to go to church with them on Sunday morning. In fact, this is the third time they invited me, and I'd like to. However, every Sunday I hardly get up at 8. I missed it for 2 times, and today is the third time. If there is a God, I mean if he/she exists, I hope he/she won't blame me. Yet, is there a God?! I've no idea~

I suddenly remember the essay I wrote which is a about the exist of Santa Claus. At first I didn't know how to write it because I didn't know whether there was a Santa Claus. What's more, in China we have no Chrismas. When I looked through the internet and tried to find some information about Santa Claus, there was a letter noticed my eyes. A young girl asked a newspaper editor whether there's a Santa Claus. The editor told her he lives and lives forever, as long as you believe. It moved me a lot. I suddenly felt it was happy to believe the exist of Santa Claus. After that I saw a movie called "polar express", and it was one of the most favorite movie I have seen. (I love animation movies, for it is full of imagination.) It made me suddenly started to believe the exist of Santa Claus!

Once in my oral English class, my foreign teacher talked about the belief of fairy. He firstly asked my opinion. I said "no", because I had no reasons believe. Then, he asked one of my classmates, she said "Yes. It was said once a person said 'I don't believe the exist of fairy', a fairy would be dead because of what he said." After I heard that I changed my mind immediately.

Maybe all of us should have some belief. Believe God, Santa Claus, fairy, or you can also believe your parents, siblings, friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, husband,wife...... Sometimes they can give you a sense of belonging.

Newcomer's New Life

It has been one mouth since I came to Canada. After one month, I think I like my life here~

To be a newcomer, there were a lot of things that I didn’t know at first. However, many people helped me a lot. I still remember the first time when I was going to take C-train to UC, yet I had no coin pay for the ticket. It was an old lady who gave me $2.25 and told me how to buy a ticket. I had tried several times to exchange $5 to some coins from her, but she didn’t accept. We were talking about Calgary all the way. She told me that Calgary was a big city and the weather here was unbelievable. It is until now I can understand what she meant by unbelievable. In fact, it was her who gave me the first impression of the people in Calgary, which is friendliness!

When people try to describe the weather in Calgary, most of them use the word “cold”. Perhaps, the weather here is unbelievable, but the more unbelievable thing I feel is the people here, for many of them wear T-shirts in such the cold day! A few days before, on the way home, my friends and I were talking about the colder weather and what kind of warm clothes should we add, while a little boy, maybe 4 or 5 years old, who worn a T-shirt and a pair of shorts, was walking across us. We even couldn’t believe our eyes! It was at evening in the outside!

I’d like to know more about the people here and the way they live, which will make my life much more colorful. Looking forward to tomorrow~